Wondering Nomads

Remember those times when your computer crashed and you lost all your hard work because it didn’t automatically save? Well, imagine that feeling, but magnified a hundred times. That’s how it felt when our house burnt down, and we knew we had to start all over again, one way or the other. 

It’s been exactly one year since that devastating fire. The initial weeks were all about survival – finding a safe place to stay, dealing with legal matters, and looking after our newborn son. Our bodies were on edge, making it hard to sleep or relax. Rain became a trigger, reminding us of the crackling fire that had destroyed our house. Understanding the importance of taking care of our mental health we sought professional help to process this traumatic event. It wasn’t easy, but techniques like exposure therapy and EMDR helped us process the experience and make peace with the haunting memories. 

The grieving process wasn’t straightforward either. We went back and forth through the five different mourning phases; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I think we now have arrived in the acceptance stage, although anger and depression are certainly still looking around the corner as well. 

In the midst of our mourning we also felt the strong urge to focus on something we were good at; our jobs. Despite the chaos, throwing ourselves into our jobs helped us cope. Bouke Pieter went to Gaziantep in February, following the devastating earthquake near the Turkiye-Syria border. Whilst walking through the streets where no house was standing upright anymore, he saw people desperately searching for remnants of their former lives. He felt like an intruder walking there, because partly he knew how it felt. That you feel so lost and want to identify some items to make sense of what happened. Looking for reasons which you will never find. 

Annegreet went to Zapporizhzhia in June, this was around the time that Ukraine launched a counteroffensive against Russia, so it was an intense time. She went to villages close to the frontline, where daily missile strikes were no surprise anymore. There was a man named Nicolas, who showed his completely ruined house that still smelt like fire, with tears in his eyes. He said he was trying to rebuild a small shed in the backyard so he had a place to sleep. He didn’t had a choice but to continue. His determination to rebuild was as a powerful reminder of people’s resilience to overcome even the most challenging circumstances. 

We had the privilege to take our time to grief. Though there were constant questions about whether we would rebuild our house we took our time to heal a bit, before making a decision. But the experiences in Turkiye and Ukraine resonated deeply within us, also serving as a source of inspiration. If those people in worse circumstances were able to continue, who were we to say that we couldn’t? 

And now, we can confidently say, yes, we’re going to rebuild our house. We’ve modified the design to something more practical, and we’re getting some extra help, but we’re determined to start over and rise our house from the ashes. 

Around the world we have met so many resilient people, who had the capacity to recover from extreme difficulties that happened to them. Asking the question why there is suffering and injustice is not helping you to go forward. Resilience is the key. It’s that strength that lets us come stronger out of the storm, and as a Phoenix rise from the ashes.

From the ashes, a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring. – J.R.R. Tolkien